Furniture removal industry makes its move into European spotlight

Date: 13/06/1996

THERE are plenty of movers and shakers in this town, but unless I am very much mistaken, only the movers have got their very own federation.

While we were all preoccupied with the continuing beef crisis, the first ever congress organised by FEDEMAC, the European Federation of Furniture Movers, was taking place in Stuttgart.

I wish I could have been there.

The federation represents the interests of more than 5,000 companies across the EU. Its aim is to keep the moving industry fully informed of changes in the profession, particularly regarding Euro-legislation which has an impact on the daily lives of prime movers from 15 member states. It is also attempting to harmonise the procedures and objectives of all of the national movers' associations within the Union.

But what, precisely, do removal folk talk about over cocktails when they gather?

According to Alain Rousse, the director-general of FEDEMAC, there is always plenty to chat about. “This first congress will enable movers from all over Europe to gather in order to discuss the future of the moving industry,” he said before the event.

Unfortunately I have not been able to track him down since. Perhaps he has moved.

But I have the congress agenda here, and it shows that the two-day meeting was basically split into three elements - consumer perception and needs; social and environmental implications (presumably of moving); and “the ability for service producers to earn a good living and continue to develop their businesses”.

In the absence of a comprehensive read-out of how the removal industry's first ever congress went, let us hazard a guess at the inaugural speech, delivered by FEDEMAC's congress chairman, Mr Leftan Downabit.

“Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to welcome you all here in Stuttgart for what will be, I am sure, a very moving occasion in more ways than one.” (Pause for chuckles).

“As you know, the voice of the removal industry is seldom heard in Europe. But no longer are we prepared to take a back seat while laws are passed which affect each and every one of us.

“For too long, we have been overlooked and ignored. When did you last year a national government minister or a senior Commission official say 'yes, but what about the removers?' When have our needs been taken into consideration?

“And yet, to whom do these very diplomats and fast-track civil servants turn first when a tasty post beckons? I need hardly tell you, fellow removers, that without us, these people would not be where they are today!

“Do you really think that when Klaus Hänsch is round at the Santers' for supper, admiring the teak-effect combined with music centre and cocktail cabinet, he stops to ponder where it came from? He almost certainly does not!

“And yet the fact is, fellow piano-humpers, carpet-luggers and crockery-smashers, that the Santer sideboard and its contents came all the way from Luxembourg - in a removal lorry!” (Thunderous applause from delegates).

“Fellow movers, we are living in an increasingly-peripatetic society. In a border-free single market, with increasing job mobility, one group of people stands out as central to the underlying ethos.

“And we are those people, ladies and gentlemen. Without us, diplomatic and expatriate society would grind to a halt. Without us, embassies would be deprived of some of their finest show-pieces. Priceless Louis XIV chairs would be lost in transit, treasured artefacts would be providing work for restorers and super-glue enthusiasts.

“The fact is that in the EU today more people are moving than staying still. We are the fastest growth sector in society. Wherever suburban roads are blocked, you will find a very large removal van. And yet, when Euro-norms are established, does anyone pause to think about the consequences for the professionals?

“What we are calling for at this congress, ladies and gentlemen, is a removers' charter in recognition of our profound importance in the world. No more will legislation be framed without our voice being heard.

“For wherever two or three expatriate pin-striped suits are gathered together, a removal van is never far away.

“Copies of our charter, which will be available on the way out, are being sent to the Commission, Council and member states. Let me now read out its contents:

“'We the Federation of European Furniture Removers:

'Recognising that the travelling circus is the backbone of European Union life and that documents will continue to be required to be ferried between Brussels, Luxembourg and Strasbourg, from here until eternity regardless of the dictates of common sense and also regardless of technological developments such as the fax, the Internet and other dubious devices which can never be relied upon;

'Recognising that European diplomacy requires a regular reassignment of embassy and representation staff around the 15 member states with all that that entails for the reallocation of all their personal effects;

'Noting that the ever-increasing size of the EU, which is heartily to be welcomed, requires a multitude of new missions and ancillary offices in a growing number of places;

'Aware that these new premises will require lots and lots of staff, who must be rotated between capitals with grim regularly and at least once a year;

'Calls for:

Standard widths for all doors throughout Europe, with an agreed minimum measurement wide enough to facilitate removal of a baby grand piano without upending it;

A ban on one-piece L-shaped sofas:

Compulsory fitting of one-metre long steel winch hooks on all exterior walls above ground level in houses and apartment blocks;

Industrial-size lifts in office blocks;

Exemption for removers from installing furniture and fittings which will not fit inside office block lift as cited above;

A stipulation that EU officials must take their own furniture when posted to missions and must not buy furniture in post to leave for the next incumbent;

Reaffirmation from the Council of Ministers and the Commission that Strasbourg is and will remain the seat of the European Parliament in perpetuity and also for ever;

Reaffirmation from the Council of Ministers and the Commission that Luxembourg will remain the headquarters for at least some of the European Parliament secretariat, however daft that may appear.'

“Ladies and gentlemen, I am proud to welcome you here for this our first, but by no means our last, moving congress. Let me assure you that you will be kept in touch of all developments. We are now actively lobbying in Europe.

“In a nutshell, ladies and gentlemen, we are practising what we preach - for we are on the move!”